Family Members

Don't ask how I came up with this topic lets just say I was moved, but not in a good way, to think about what my family goes through. What are there responses & how this illness can also change their lives.I have to say this has been the hardest to go through, even harder then the pain & fatigue itself.

1st our significant others! Yikes so much to say..... Well they loose who they married... Then one of 2 things happen they leave you! SAD but true. He/she can't handle it & your on your own. If your lucky because this person loves you so, have morals, values & don't believe in checking out when the going gets rough. Ok Babe we r in this together! Yay for you & him/her! CRAP!!!! I say that because duh Thats not it there is the rest of your life or in my case I believe the rest if my existence. One minutes I'm a stay at home SUPER MOM, the next I'm in bed cuz I can't even get out of it & every night it's take-out, left overs, frozen meal or your husband is making Hamburger Helper for the 20th time. The cleaning is not done by you but by your husband but only on his days off because he worked 3 16 hour shifts that week.. Well nothing gets done. Then your trying to deal with each other both feeling helpless, both at times wanting to give up, both snapping at each other, etc. etc. etc! Right? Ok ok not always but sometimes.

Next our precious little people. The extension of ourselves. The best things we can contribute to this crazy world Our children! All I think please God don't let me screw them up. Lets face it this isn't a perfect world not a perfect person exists & we under the best circumstances, as parents, can only do our best. "I CAN'T" is all I seem to say to them a lot! I can't pick you up late please get a ride, I can't go to your game too much sun gives me migraines, I can't go on that school trip cuz I cramp up if I sit to long. Then there are the "Please can u". Please get me my meds, please rotate the laundry, please no friends over today cuz I have a migraine, please stir this cuz my hand & back r cramping etc, etc! They have to grow up so fast with a mom or dad like us... Good in some ways ...but bad because I'm suppose to be the one taking care of them. It hurts to hear your daughter's fear is she will loose u SOON!*tears* I hurts when your son's hopes everyday that this day u will be cured & never speak of pain again.

What-To-Do, What-To-Do? This goes for family member & sufferer!
Don't give up!
Try!
Thank Them!
Love them!
Love yourself!
Communicate(both of you)!
Listen!
There is always a bright side! No don't say no..Yes their is, there always is!
Wish but also Accept what is!
Ask for help!
Give!
Serve!
Rest!
Love, Love,Love, Love,Love, Love,!

Physical Road Blocks

It seems no matter what I do. I am either loosing weight like crazy...for instance 2 years ago I lost 52 pounds. Now I am 5 feet tall that was a lot to loose I went the gym worked with a trainer and watch what I ate BUT the Fibro was kicking my butt the entire time.  Needless to say I have gained all the weight back. I actually don't know what I weigh right now.  I tried to continue the gym but like I said "kicked my butt" to the point that I went into the worse flair up ever. I obviously can't do that much. One doctor I saw said do something everyday even if its only 5 minutes....Well I'm never going to loose weight that way. Another says YOGA YOGA....BTW I love doing it warms up my muscles and isn't going to put in bed for the rest of the week but for loosing weight no can do.

Another thing to consider is the medications we are on. Some actually will allow us to loose weight but most(like anti-depressants/Fibro meds) side affect is weight gain. I have had one doctor tell me is either you live with being chunky or live with the pain, that it was my choice........REALLY that is no choice at all as far as I am concerned.

Sooo I do what I can when I can. I eat healthy and in moderation. Yes I need to start walking and doing Yoga again but with two hospitalizations and 5 consecutive infections that part was not possible but so far so good. I have been okee dokee. Lets hope it last so I can get back to what I like and what works.  YES that is my advise to you DO WHAT WORKS FOR YOU! What works for you?

I'm Back

Its been over 18 months since I last posted a blog. First apologies are in order. It's been a hard year. I think I stopped because I became occupied with life, as we all do. What happened Feb of last year  my mom decided to serve a mission for our church. Long story short me along with a lot of other wonderful people were working hard to make that happen and in July she left for 18 months and will be returning in Jan. 2013.

 Well in this last year both my children hit there teens. I've had the worse FLARE-UP'S.  I got so bad this last year that I had to start using a cane to walk. I sure hit an all time low. I went to a local specialist(arthritis) no help there.  Finally went to Stanford University pain clinic, they referred me to a local clinic to be a part of a group testing a trial drug. It said to cut pain by 60%. We shall see????????? Now just waiting to see my insurance will cover. I started to see a therapist(Shrink). That has helped me immensely. My family Doc. changed or upped my medications. Truthfully this has been my first full 5 days where I am in reasonably in good shape.