Talk and laughing

Talking and Laughing could be the remedy for u. I know it is for me. I sat and had a wonderful conversation with with another fibro sufferer. She was going through a moment of relentlence pain. We chatted, made fun of our "decease" and got to know each other. I was wonderful she got her mind of the pain alittle. I just had a blast talking and sharings.

Meds Day 3&4

Well I had a cold. I thought it was going to be a duzy but I'm good today.  I remember turmeric was said to have healing properties in high doses, you know like a antibiotic. I guess that has turned out to be true. Between that and the cough syrup with codeine my husband got when he was sick, Well here I am, good as new. The pain is not as intense. I used to take 4 vidodine in a 24 hour period, every 6 hour. I would be watching the clock. The pain would start to show up around 4 hours and I would have to endure until hour 6 came along. Now I  am only taking 3 a day and hopefully will continue to taper off every week.

So did my experiment work??????  Yes and NO. I'm not as tired and pain is less with the turmeric and I found out that the St. Johns Wart wasn't going to be enough so I went back. It's OK. I think over all I just wanted the pain to lesson and a little more energy. So its working out well. So far. Well I just wanted to give everyone an update.

meds herbal days 1-2

I caught a cold and not feeling that great. Last night I had so much body ache that I wan't sure if it was the fibro or the cold. So I stopped the St. Johns Wart and started on the prozac and xanax again. I continued the Tumeric. I think it is working great and I am started to wean off the vicodine. I get an occasional pain but it goes and come fast and doesn't linger like before and become this ache that eminates. Tumeric seams to be a success so far. I going to relent and say that St. John Wart works for mild cases but  I'm not a mild case ....sooo I have to admit I need these for now. I going to continue the B12, crannberry, Savella, Tumeric, melatonin and vicodin until I can wean off.  I actual feel good given I have this cold but a cold I can handle "No Problem"

Meds-Trying Herbal

Ok so I had a pretty bad week. I thought will I every have relief....will I every have a moment of peace in my body. As I take the medications I take ....I thought they are not even working....why am even taking them and I started thinking what else can I try. I thought of different suggestions I had been given through the years and the only thing that came to me to do is going Herbal. I must say at the same time I thought "ya right...herbs so not going to work". I also remembered growing up, my parents went herbal all the time...So why not.

I looked on the Internet and  looked and looked and looked again. I don't know what I'm doing but hey than again neither do the doctors.LOL!  Ok realistically I can't just stop taking my meds. Ok what is working?? What is not working or can do without??

 I take "Savella" this is specific for fibro treatment and yes it has been working. Ok not ashamed but I take Prozac...its hard to have this and not get depressed. I also take Xanax because of sleepless nights but this ones known to be habit forming. Last but not least Vicodine because hey the pain its 24 /7,  but then doesn't always work.

Keeping the Savella, researched that St. Johns Wart is a anti-depressant. I've taken it before when it was that time of the month came along and it worked great so why not now. Prozac out! Melatonin (natural Sleep Aid) so xanax out I've weaned of  that. Last "Turmeric" according to all I've read its been found to help with immune health specifically the brain and since we have been told that fibro may be triggered by the brains misperception of pain and movement in the body...I looked further and found that is some cases has been used to help people suffering from fibro with there pain management. So started to wean off of Vicodine and taking this.

Am I crazy..... Maybe????!!!!  What do you think! Have you tried going herbal. Am I just setting myself up to run myself into a wall???? Don't Know! What I do know is what I'm doing now is not working. I'm either in pain cause that day they decided not to work or I'm out of it(Drowsy) because all the meds worked but all have the side effects of drowsiness.

I've gotta try to get myself back. I might fail, but then again I might not. I do know I will never give up. This is only day 1. Stay tuned for updates on how its going.

Trying..Why?

Trying when I probably shouldn't have. That is what I have been doing for the past 2 weeks. Halloween and everything that comes with that, getting some time to myself and getting to some of my housework. Well I'm paying for it now. I even flacked on my calling in church was suppose to help with a special event .....well I didn't even do an 1/8 of what I should have done. There is guilt with that because I left it all for my friend to do, but I showed up.

 Day 3 full of fleggle-hammer. Not only that but my husband is very sick, strep throat and possibly bronchitis. Today I woke up to my ears hurting and a sore throat. I think "What was I thinking. "  I knew this would happen but yet again I was wishing it wouldn't. I thought maybe not this time. I can do it ALL and be ok after. I can't stop living my life put it on hold for myself or my family.  Well here I am and it's on hold. My kids are older so they kinda have a life now or can easily take care of themselves. My son is gone at a boy scouting event and my daughter is here but she is ten she reads, watches tv, gets her own food, and can play games. She hasn't bothered me one bit.  My husband snoring next to me and I envy him. He is having a moment of rest. My son is having a good time, he will be going to a friends house after words and my girl she never complains and is perfectly content, she is a home body.

I just don't want to be in pain. I want to take this time and play a game with my daughter ...I want to tend to my husband better but I can't....even finish the laundry but I can't. My whole left side is on fire. I'm so tired........

Yes this is a bad day. Regret I have but as I  think about how can I regret the good time my kids have had. The little housework that got done. The time I took to visit a friend along with my getaway. I can not regret any of that. I am thankful for it.  

I want to say that this pain is my punishment but I did nothing wrong so that can't be right. All I did was try ....I try everyday to do the best, the most with what I have to deal with........ I'm just don't know how long I can keep going like this...

God is my stength he will when I have no more to give I have to believe that. He is all I have. Faith is a powerful thing. Just when I have no more he will help me to find that little more.

So why try. well for me its my God and my family .....Whats yours?

Funny Story

I can't believe what happen to me today. Doing the usually when my husband turns around and ask if I can get him a cough drop. He is sick. He's aloud. I actually don't mind taking care of him. So I move all my plans aside think what we are out of and what we need to make him better. I realized I have all these other errands to run as well cause I paid the bills yesterday and need to deliver or drop off some of them. Ok my work out at the gym is out. Then my husband says we need to go grocery shopping. Ok trying to make some cards is out. Oh my son hurt his knee yesterday. I need to delivery an icey hot sleeve to him at school before wrestling practice. Ok I wanted to try out drawing. (I found out how much I enjoyed face painting at the church event so thought...This might be a relaxing hobby ).....well thats out. Now mind you none of these things were important in the least so I was just bumbed about it. I get ready as if I am going to the gym hoping that after I am done maybe I can still at least go to the gym after. I write my list out and off I go, drop kids off, market, bank, wal-mart, pay a few bills and go refill our water jugs(the place was closed) standing and waiting for 10 minutes outside hoping they would show up but they didn't. So ditch water go home. I have melting things in my truck.

Ok here is the funny part. I go in to give my hubby some meds for his cold and he is going to work. He never misses. He would have to be dying to miss work anyways....... so ok I figured that. We talk for a bit then I get up to pick up in the bedroom. Joe stops me and starts laughing and says "um turn around, I say what do want to check out my nice butt, he says no but(pause as he looks at me)....he says I hate to tell you this but your pants are inside out!"  YES people I went all over this city with my pants inside out tag showing and everything.  Here the kicker usually I would have been dramatized. Thinking to know end who could have seen me or who could have been laughing behind my back.
BUT....I didn't care I laughed and fixed them. 

I thought why didn't I care and the answer is that although very funny but in comparison to the pain I endure on a daily bases was just that FUNNY and not worth getting upset over. Boy have I changed. I sit here. I didn't go to the gym because  just did too much...actually I have been doing to much all week. Yesterday I had the worst day of pain and fatigue that I have had in a long long time. Today thanks to myself for saying enough and not going to my meeting and mutual last night and opted to lay down and relax.  I was able to run my errand and take care of my husband. That is all that matter.

Although I think whats next no pants at all....ok ok maybe not but I wonder some time...after so many meds for so many years will it is start to affect my mental status. LOL. I doubt it !!!

NO MATTER....LIFE GOES ON

I have been contemplating what my next topic would be about and it finally came to me."No Matter... Life Goes" as we went through the many events for Halloween. I realized I couldn't stop it. I wanted too. I did, in all honesty because I knew I would end up in bed all day like I am today. Flegger-hammer never really going away and napping my day away, mean while my kids went to school, did their homework, and are now eating candy before dinner. Sure a normal day after Halloween. Life continues my participation isn't always there. They have dad home today though. He picked them up he is "kinda" making sure they are doing what they are suppose to be doing but not like I would.  I can't complain though... I really don't have any choice right now. Even typing this new post hurts right now. Yesterday I couldn't even sit through church completely because the pain was so intense then I and Sippy our YW prez, we went to visit the girls that don't show up on Sundays. We wanted to make sure they new we were still thinking of them and we care. It's true. I never thought serving in my church & people around me could be so rewarding. Sippy new I was in pain but I assured her that no matter where I would be, whether I was home or in a car with her. Just seeing these girls made it worth it. Life goes on. I spend the morning sleeping but I wasn't alone I was with my husband we spent the morning snuggled and peacefully sleeping. When we awoke and he new I didn't feel well today he already new it was all him.  Life wasn't going to stop just for me.  Oh and Saturday I got a call from our visiting teacher coordinator. She finds out if we visited our assigned women and wants to know how these women are doing.......Well I didn't do it........& I haven't for oooohhhhh 3 to 4 months. I understand that this is important and it's God's will it is on my priority list except I never get to it.  I became irritated with this person and I told her so. She had no idea why...she said at one point if I just had a little more faith.....Well that was it .... cause if anything else that is all I have. It's what keeps me going. I have had more faith and love for my Lord now than I have in my whole life so for her to say if I just had a little more, upset me.   Long story short she apologized, I realized I had to tell her what going on with me and so she is recommending that I not have this calling right now. Life goes on. These women need to be able to depend on me but I just can't right now, it is tooo much. Soo I agreed take me off and assign them to another person. Their lives go on.

I am figuring this out....OK sure I know this, the sun comes up, the day turns to night,  people live, people die,  people are capable of so much love but yet capable of horrible  horrific things. People also believe us and there are people that also don't.  Some people's lives are blessed again and again but some suffer tragedy at every turn. This world is not perfect wasn't meant to be. We must be tempted , tested , grow, make mistakes and succeed. It's why we are here. What are we made of? What are you made of? What am I made of? All the while lives and the days continue. 

Soo, can I stop the holidays from coming, stop the traditions we are accustomed too. Can i stop my kids from growing up, activities and dreams. All because it means more for me to do and means a sure fire day in bed from time to time. NOO! Life goes on. My kids need it. I need it. Otherwise I will shrivel up in this bed. Yes it's worth the occasional days in bed. It may always be this way or it may not. Dr's may figure this out and it will be a distant memory.

I am guilty of having so many regrets...of being so hard on myself for those days in pain or when I make mistakes. I hear my family, my friends say don't worry it's OK but I still feel bad. I know I'm to hard on myself. I know this is beyond my control but most importantly I am realizing something that everything happens for a reason. This will be what tests me. I will be a better mom, wife, daughter, friend and person because of this. I can already feel it. I have people mentioning the difference in me.  SO MY LIFE GOES ON! It may not be like most but it's whats right for me and my awesome family.  Do I want to be "normal". I  say naaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyy! Life is more interesting this way.

This may be new for some of you readers or something you done and gone through but I encourage all to find your niche,  use your strengths and work on your weaknesses. Why do I say encourage this, yes you guessed it,  NO MATTER...LIFE GOES ON!