I BEGIN TO HEAL

What is Fleggle-Hammer? Fleggle-Hammer means "pain". I give this credit to my best friend Katie. I Facebook. I was up early, as usual, and took my meds waiting for meds to kick in, so I post, I am tired of saying the word "pain" I need a made up word. My Friend suggested this silly name that means nothing. I loved it.  So when I say it I smile and laugh because of how silly it sounds.  Trying to turn a negative to a positive. So that is the short history of "FLEGGLE-HAMMER".

I am Monica. I'm 35 years old. I suffers from fibromyalsia. In other words they don't know whats wrong with me.  It all started April of 2007. Thought I had the flu. Never went away. Fleggle-hammer intensified and became unbearable. I didn't sleep. I didn't eat. I couldn't even get out of bed. Luckily I was a stay-at-home mom. Unluckily I was a stay-at-home mom. After many doctors, tests, and meds(that made me gain 65 lbs), My family moved. It's 2 years later.
We moved back to our place of birth so I returned to my doctor that we loved. I end up seeing his daughter. She is so young....but she knows her stuff. She finally diagnosed me.  She listened to me. We found a new drug "Savella". It seams to be working along with other meds I take and I can live my life pretty mush interrupted. Just at a slower pace. I even started going to the gym and in the last year have lost a total of 37 lbs.

So why am I am blogging now after 3 1/2 years of pain. I had an interesting encounter with a person who suffers from arthritis. This person has suffered since he/she was a teenager. He/she is in her/his forties now. This person apparently was tired of reading my post about  my bout with fleggle-hammer. In there opinion I should suck it up and forget about it. I will get nothing from sharing this Fleggle-hammer. I will just get people tired of me and loose my friends. Well as you can probably assume I lost this friend/family member. I thought "NO!"  I will not stop. This is what is on my mind. This is what is always on my mind. I clean with this on my mind. I make dinner this is on my mind. I take my kids to school it is on my mind.....well you get it.  I know talking about it will not cure my illness. I figure mind over matter..I talk about it...my mind deals and if I blog it...I may help some people out while helping my self out too.

My hope is just that hope. Hope for a test that solidifies the illness and a hope for a cure. My hope mostly lies with the people around us. I want them to acknowledge it. I want people to know that there is not this mass hysteria of people making up this fleggle-hammer.  It is very real for those who suffer from it.

My day today good. See improvement. Had some fleggle's here and there but not enough to stop me. As I type my ring finger on my left hand is fleggling. So I consider it a good day.

I am a person of faith. So I end with a prayer for anyone who reads this. Anyone who suffers as I do. I pray that we will find peace.