Sick & Tired of being Sick & Tired

This blog inspired by a friend on facebook, Dianne! She mentioned how she was sick and tired of being sick and tired. Boy, I thought how many times have I thought that, said that, felt that. Well.....every minute of every day.

Just yesterday, my family and I arrived home after a few days in Pismo Beach, CA. It was the best time we had as a family in a long time, we played board games, went to the movies(it was raining the 1st day). We went to the hotel pool, went on walks to on the beach, did some shopping, walked on the pier and of course bought some salt water taffy & ate claim chowder plus fish and chips. It was great. We even found a swing set on the beach and yes I was swinging with my kids. It was so much fun. It was freeing I felt young and full of life in that precious moment with my kids. 

It used to be it and the days would continue the same. You know having fun but it didn't for me. by the time we returned back to the hotel the second day...I was exhausted. I was in flegger-hammer mode and I couldn't stop shaking. My kids even got scared and worried for me. Oh here we go, I ruined a perfectly good day. I took a shower and layed down. Well before I knew it I was out(cause of the meds) I thought take a nap then go back for dinner and yogurt with my family but when my husband got me up. I couldn't get up. The pain had dulled but my energy was gone.  OK here comes the guilt. They went without me and the next day although still a little off I willed myself to get up and go on that last walk on the beach with my family before we left. I even drove us home half the way back but as soon as my husband took over I slept till we arrive home. I went to pick up my baby dog sissy from my sisters place and sat on the  recliner. I didn't last one minute before I was out. Besides the occasional awake moments I had. I slept and at some point got up and went to bed with out saying a word to my family.

Guilt City Baby. Here I am up 3 in the am and thinking how I have ruined things. There was a moment  yesterday where I was standing in the hotel looking at the floor and we packed to leave. My husband came up to me and hugged me and said thank you. I SAY for what I ruined everything. He asked how I did that. well I said by not joining you for dinner and the evening walk we had planned. He says " look you are here, me and the kids know you did alot and we are grateful for that. You smiled the entire time and to be together as a family was the most important thing. I say we had the best vacation and it was perfect".

My husband is my rock. I know that my Heavenly Father sent me this man for a reason. Most  would have walked away. Believe it or not .....some people just can't handle the extra load. He works all day long yet comes home and helps we when he can. I think do I deserve this guy? He so deserves better. but he is always quick to say there is no one better than you for me. I know awesome right to have such a person in my life is a total blessing.

I know for all of us suffering. This may not be the case. I consider my self one of the lucky ones, that has the support of my family. I think If this kindness and love doesn't come from your significant other than go out and find it. Demand it from this person you share your life with. It shouldn't be that hard for the other person to do for you. My husband didn't come to me wrapped up in a pretty bow this way. I had to help him to see what was happening with me. It took him caring for his mother, who died of lung cancer, to realize the compassion and love he had within himself to give.

We sure didn't ask for this to happen to us and if we could we would just shut it off, but we can't so do we sit and wallow or to we adapt and move forward. I encourage all to adapt and move forward. Yes we will feel guilt, despair and that longing for relief....days will be there that we lay there in despair. Well its what we do with it that matters.  Get that family support you know you need. Demand it. I had too.

I'll tell you why we need it for those days(sick & tired of being sick & tired). It OK we don't have to go at it alone. We can even get it from our fellow suffers but get it some where. It will make a deference trust me.